ALIENATION

A dear friend wrote to me:

I'm disappointed because I literally don't see or hear from any friends anymore. It seems life has swallowed everyone up. I don't think this is the way it is supposed to work. I think we are all missing the point. Isn't work supposed to afford us pleasant experiences with friends and family? It seems my kids and friends are so busy trying to stay afloat there's no time for anything.

This is serious business. Why have we become so alienated? How have our social networks collapsed?

I suspect that we’re all in a seething, quiet panic, circling up the wagons wherever we can, cutting out “extras” like fellowship and sharing in the same way schools are cutting out art and music. My friend is right: it's harder to connect than it was.

The reason for that panic may be that beneath the dollars-and-cents strain of life in a recession or depression we’re confronting an appalling knowledge we don’t wish to recognize. But it's the 500 pound gorilla in the room. We have more and more difficulty ignoring it, now.

The awful truth is that we know in our hearts that the machine is broken. It won’t get better. Obama or Nobama, we get the same corporate government the powerful few choose. Democrats, Republicans, it doesn’t matter – partisanship is a soap opera designed to give us the illusion of debate and struggle toward the right. We know that all our officials are cogs in the corporate juggernaut that dictates our lives.

Remember Jack Nicholson’s character in Easy Rider? He said something like, “It’s hard to be free when you’re bought and sold in the marketplace. But if you tell people they aren’t free, they’ll get busy killing and maiming to prove that they are.” This incipient panic is dangerous. We will furiously deny that we don’t have freedom and choice. We don’t want to acknowledge that we don’t live in a democracy, that our votes don’t count, and that everything George W. Bush did was backed up by the Democrats. If we admit to ourselves that we’re ants in a game, we won’t have the comfortable illusion of free will. We’re not in charge, not even as a nation of citizens. Our government doesn’t act in our best interests or respond to our needs. Our government has no moral code we can share. We’re ants.

Perhaps the scariest thing about this scenario is that the Corporate Government doesn’t seem to have a plan. It won’t make any steps ahead and insists that we’re jes’ fine as we are. Keep buying, keep driving, keep polluting! What’s good for US Steel is good for the country! The shadowy boardroom figures that run our country don’t seem to have any notion of change or adaptation. We’re past the Hubbard Peak, we’re running out of oil, the world is evolving into a dangerous global puzzle, but the boardroom is concerned only with next quarter’s profits.

The Last Honest Man to sit in the White House may have been Jimmy Carter, who was bold enough to ask citizens to conserve, change their habits, think about energy. He was a one-term president sandbagged by Congress and the Pentagon.

I believe the effort to deny this hidden certainty of disconnect with our institutions is poisoning us. And I believe it affects the way we shrink away from the world, laagered up in our homes, satisfying ourselves with National Idol and Runway Project as fairytale templates for real life. How many kids, 10 to 20, are obsessed by “second life” games in which dire forces can be defeated? How can they submerge themselves in artificial life and ignore real life? Perhaps because their parents haven’t demanded much of them as citizens-in-training. They haven’t been braced by the certainties of discipline, cultural continuity, family structure. They are the chauffeured generation – playdates, soccer, Little League – an entitled generation that realizes there is no up-side to becoming an adult. They know that entering the adult world is giving up on dreams and trekking across a wasteland.

So what can we do about it? We need our friends and we need our families.

I’m opposed to organized religion but I can now see the benefit of the Sabbath, when families presented themselves as a unit before God, the entire nutso, dysfunctional crew. The acceptance of humility and humanity before God is a connecting experience. Kids see their parents bowing to something much larger and mysterious. They feel the spiritual current of shared past, beyond distant ancestors. They confront the mysteries which, I believe, make life less mysterious. But will I hop down to the nearest Methodist Church or synagogue? I will not. Dogma and magic taint the Christian beliefs. The narcissistic buddying up to Jesus taints the Christiam evangelicals. Echoes anguished and embattled tribes in a distant, harsh land taint the cantor’s song.

Honestly, I’m confused. I do believe we should gather in fellowship and joy. We must share our lives so that none of us can feel like the Lone Ranger, which we ain’t. We should resist alienating ourselves (SO damn easy for me to do). In many ways, a lively and thoughtful social life is also a spiritual life, being human with others. Becoming part of the larger web. How do accomplish this in a corrosive time?

BRAXINOSO SPEAKS

Himself has a talent for welcoming people to his table. He ignores it too much and at his peril. When he groundhogs up he becomes abstract, pedantic, often a ninnyhammer. He is at his best at a table of friends who are talking, arguing, laughing and sharing. What does a dinner cost? Not much compared to the benefits. Why don't more people share themselves? Alienation is the prime poison of our "interesting" time.